Vintage Wieners
An ode to the horniest summer cuisine
There’s no other way to say this, but I’ve been thinking a lot about hot dogs. My theory is that the heat reduces us to our most essential self – a sweaty, salty, horny mess. So basically a hot dog. We all become hot dogs in the summer.
Things can get complicated when you’re a hot dog at a BBQ and the host asks, “hot dog or hamburger.” Don’t panic, simply respond, “hot dog” as the answer to both your name and what you’ll be having for dinner. Is this cannibalism? Technically yes, but it’s summertime, and heat stroke makes it difficult to register details of this variety.
The truth is, things have been difficult long before the host asked this confusing question. What does a hot dog even wear to a summer BBQ? I’d say it’s best to stick to the same answer as above and go with “hot dog”.
I am already feeling more relaxed knowing that all questions can have one answer. I think they call it, “essentialism.”
In all seriousness, this is a risky post because the power of the all-mighty frank is real. If you’re going to reveal your true hot dog essence, you’ve got to be classy about it. Best friends don’t let best friends dress like a damn clown.
Before all you little doggies get to the finds, you’ll have to educate yourselves by reading “The Hottest Bars in L.A. Serve Hot Dogs”, by
of The Angel, and “No.6 || (Hot) Dog Days of Summer”, by of Cake Walk.Hopefully, now you understand: the importance of hot dog essentialism, the only bars to patron in L.A., and which book you’re reading next. Without further adieu, below you’ll find a sizzle (group of hot dogs) of vintage wiener themed items.
Vintage Red Short Sleeve Sweatshirt Satin Hot Dog
Behold the cutest classiest little doggy dog short sleeved sweatshirt. This satin weeny patch is straight up elegant. Wear with a pair of khaki trousers or dark denim.
MCM Mid Century Vintage Hand Painted Ceramic Hot Dog Piggy Bank
What’s the status of your piggy bank? Overflowing and you need a new one to hold your hot dog funds? Look no further. The good thing about piggy banks is they double as beautiful sculptures to place atop your dresser. This one is a self portrait.
Oscar Mayer T Shirt
Tangled up in too (many hot dogs)? NEVER! This shirt is for the bold and the beautiful. If you’re going to a party and hoping to meet your new summer fling, this is a guaranteed way to do so. I think it says everything, so you can get straight to making out.
Lunch At The Ritz Earring Hot Dog And Soda
Feeling a little shy about your hot dog status? No problem. These cutie little earrings are just for you. Look at the sparkle on those buns!
Vintage Hot Doggers Shorts Mens Medium
Did you know there was a performance Ski-wear brand called Hot Dogger? The term "hot dogger"refers to freestyle skiing, which became popular in the 70’s and 80s, “With few rules, the aim of hot dogging was to go down the slope in the most spectacular way possible”– Whistler Museum. Ummm, sounds like my new mantra! Luckily, I found these skiing shorts because it’s summer.
Vintage 70’s Avon Hotdog
Even the beauty industry understands the undeniably sexy allure of the hot dog. PSA: Do not wear this with your hot dog shirt! No, wear this to a formal event to let everyone know what you’re all about – going down the slope in the most spectacular way possible.
Vintage 80s Nathan’s Hot Dogs T Shirt
We cannot go any further without recognizing our father, Nathan Handwerker, who opened Nathan's Famous in Coney Island in 1916. Coney Island itself was a major leisure destination, and Nathan's location there helped the hot dog become synonymous with fun and relaxation. Hot dogs = best day ever.
VINTAGE VERY RARE PEANUTS SNOOPY HOT DOG COIN BANK
Just when you think the hot dog can’t get any more classic they go and put Snoopy on one! I am in love with this dog on a hot dog that’s a piggy bank. I still don’t understand why there were so many piggy banks though. Did people really keep money in these?
Vintage Nathan's Coney Island Hot Dog Stand T Shirt Men's Small Gray Sleeve Logo
Another Nathan’s shirt for y’all. This is for all you hot dog dads that don’t want to outshine your hot dog children. It’s casual, classic, and downright cool (in a dad way).
Vintage Hamburger and Hot Dog Salt & Pepper Shakers
What’s a hamburger doing here? Well, this is an inclusive newsletter and we accept all forms of summer party foods. No one thought these two would go together, but here they are proving us all wrong. I guess it’s true what they say - opposites do taste delicious.
Vintage Hot Dog Work Cap Welder's Hat Cycling Cap Hamburger Print
This one’s for you healthy dogs out there. Get a couple hundred miles in, then slam a few hundred veggie franks after.
1990s Fast Food Donuts Burger Hot Dog 35mm Slide Hollywood 20 LOT
Perhaps you aren’t into wearing your dogs, but you still want a few family portraits to hang in the house. Check out this family tree! So much history!
Vintage Hand Printed Field Day Tshirt by Jerzees
This is my favorite find. If you’re wondering what kind of hot dog I am - it’s the excited jock dog kind.
Ceramic wiener dog hot dog holder
Did you know you that your hot dog needed a special holder? Now you do, and it can come in the form of the best dog ever – the Dachshund (a.k.a. wiener dog).
14K 3-D Enamel Hot Dog w/ Bun Charm
This is truly for the most fancy dog there is. I’m talking dry-aged wagyu beef, black truffles, white truffle butter, saffron, Vidalia onions caramelized in Dom Perignon, caviar, and a lavish touch of gold leaf, type of fancy dog.
Hot Dog Shaped Hat Cap
This is for the opposite of fancy dog. This is for the dumbest dog there is. BUT, I do find it’s nice to have one thing that you can easily wear to any costume party. This really might be the end all be all for me.
Sorry about all of this. I hope you’ll forgive me and stick around until next week. Love you.
XO – Kellyn (a.k.a. Best Friends) 🌭
brat(wurst) summer 🤘🏼
The power of the all-mighty hot dog seems so much more prevalent this summer than past ones for some reason! Also thank you 🥹! Your vintage finds for this post are insane. We need to team up at some point!